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Jokes
May 10, 2006 11:55:18 GMT -5
Post by Tsarina of the Cold Wastes on May 10, 2006 11:55:18 GMT -5
Here's a challenge:
Post a joke about the class above you! - Try for it to be at least a little humorous
- It cannot be directly insulting (i.e. YOU JUST PLAIN SUCK..mind the pun, vampires)
- Perverted jokes are okay, but posting erotica isn't necessary.
You might be a red-neck Vampire...
If your raves include line dancing, you might be a red-neck Brujah. If your favorite hunting dogs include members of your own clan, you might be a red-neck Gangrel. If you can crush beer cans on your imaginary friend's forehead and it works, you might be a red-neck Malkavian. If your favorite place for muddin is your city's sewers, you might be a red-neck Nosferatu. If you're entranced by the rebel flag, you might be a red-neck Toreador. If your favorite love ritual involves your sister, you might be a red-neck Tremere. If dip or tobacco is part of your selective digestion, you might be a red-neck Ventrue. If your hell hound makes you sit in the back of your truck, you might be a red-neck Caitiff. If your idea of Conclave includes a tent revival, you might be a red-neck Prince. If you got your position by coming in second in a cow tipping contest, you might be a red-neck Seneshcal. If you participate in a quilting circle to keep current on Kindred affairs, you might be a red-neck Harpy. If your ideal Elysium is Dollywood, you might be a red-neck Keeper. If you refer to your Deputies as "little buddies", you might be a red-neck Sheriff. If your cry to freedom is "The south will rise again", you might be a red-neck Anarch. If you attend Vaulderie wearing a pillow case and sheet, you might be a red-neck Sabbat. If you monitor Kindred society with binoculars while standing in a deer blind, you might be a red-neck Inconnu.
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Alexis of the Ghastly
[glow=white,20,100] Vampire[/glow]
down a dark tunnle I travel for all eternity alone afriad of the light that burns a whole in my soul
Posts: 249
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Jokes
May 18, 2006 18:32:53 GMT -5
Post by Alexis of the Ghastly on May 18, 2006 18:32:53 GMT -5
The manager, the baker, the waiter, and the cashier at the donut shop are Mr. Patten, Ms. Sims, Mr. Devins,and Ms. Richards, but i forget who has what postion. Determine which postion each person has from the following infromation. and email me the answer. clues: Ms. Sims is taller than the cashier and the waiter. The manager eats alone. Mr.Devins plays cards with Mr.Patten. The tallest person plays volleyball. Ms. richards eats with the waiter and the cashier. Mr. patten is older than the cashier. Ms. Sims does not play any sports.
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Jokes
May 19, 2006 18:13:36 GMT -5
Post by Arya on May 19, 2006 18:13:36 GMT -5
why don't vampires eat T-bones and sirloins?
Because they stay away from stakes.
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Jokes
May 20, 2006 11:29:09 GMT -5
Post by Tsarina of the Cold Wastes on May 20, 2006 11:29:09 GMT -5
Top Ten Elf Pickup lines:
1. "I'm down here" 2. "Just because I've got bells on my shoes, doesn't mean I'm a sissy" 3.I was once a lawn ornament for 'NSynch. What to meet them? 4.I can get you off Santa's naughty list. 5. I have certain needs that can't be satisfied by working on toys. 6. I'm a magical being. Can I try to make your top and bra disappear? 7. No, no. I don't bake cookies. You're thinking of those dorks over at Keebler. 8.Get an eyedropper of tequila in me and I turn into a wild man. 9. You'd look great in a Raggedy Ann wig. 10. I can eat my weight in hotdogs!
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Ella
[glow=white,20,100] Vampire[/glow]
One kiss I shall steal from upon thy lips before I take thy blood from thee.
Posts: 275
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Jokes
Jun 4, 2006 8:25:19 GMT -5
Post by Ella on Jun 4, 2006 8:25:19 GMT -5
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde.The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. "What does it look like? She finally asked.The policewoman replied "It's square and it has your picture on it." The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. "Here it is," she said. The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."
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Alexis of the Ghastly
[glow=white,20,100] Vampire[/glow]
down a dark tunnle I travel for all eternity alone afriad of the light that burns a whole in my soul
Posts: 249
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Jokes
Jun 4, 2006 15:34:52 GMT -5
Post by Alexis of the Ghastly on Jun 4, 2006 15:34:52 GMT -5
what is it like to be kissed by a vampire? it a pain in the neck
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Ella
[glow=white,20,100] Vampire[/glow]
One kiss I shall steal from upon thy lips before I take thy blood from thee.
Posts: 275
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Jokes
Jun 7, 2006 13:55:18 GMT -5
Post by Ella on Jun 7, 2006 13:55:18 GMT -5
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government
conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find
it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
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Alexis of the Ghastly
[glow=white,20,100] Vampire[/glow]
down a dark tunnle I travel for all eternity alone afriad of the light that burns a whole in my soul
Posts: 249
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Jokes
Jun 29, 2006 17:07:04 GMT -5
Post by Alexis of the Ghastly on Jun 29, 2006 17:07:04 GMT -5
52 c in a d what does this say?
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Amatsubu
[glow=green,20,100]Witch[/glow]
Posts: 4
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Jokes
Jul 10, 2006 19:42:42 GMT -5
Post by Amatsubu on Jul 10, 2006 19:42:42 GMT -5
Wally Withersthingy proposed to his girl friend; Her reply was: I love the simple things in life Wally but I don't want one for a husband.
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Devil2some
[glow=darkred,20,100]Demon/Demoness[/glow]
Posts: 275
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Jokes
Jul 10, 2007 0:42:48 GMT -5
Post by Devil2some on Jul 10, 2007 0:42:48 GMT -5
read the words goning down and say bears after each word bears said dumbass this long how look
nowread the words going up.
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Devil2some
[glow=darkred,20,100]Demon/Demoness[/glow]
Posts: 275
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Jokes
Jul 11, 2007 18:06:37 GMT -5
Post by Devil2some on Jul 11, 2007 18:06:37 GMT -5
Why did the rubber go flying through the air? it was pissed off
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